Hopefully, you're also out of breath

And I love this ljsecret!

I don't know what i'm going to do when it all comes to an end.

The most beautiful place in the world, sunsets so bright.

I've never felt more comfortable in my skin.

The world never accepted me for who I am.

Thanks for giving me a chance.

You're like my mother tree.

You've given me my wings so I can be free.

Longboarding
Oh, you make me feel free.
The wind in my hair, the board under my feet.
Feeling like I own the road.
Everything goes in slow mo.
I never want to get off.
Most times, I feel like it's my true feet.
Always riding fast and never slow.
I dream of one day riding waves.
When I close my eyes I wish for water.
Making a masterpiece with my board.
As I carve the roads next to my home.

If a fucking snail can climb up a coleman cooler, I can do whatever the fuck I set my mind to.




I'm going to stop being lazy.

I feel disconnected from everything. It's not just being grounded. But I feel like this grounding (as stupid as it may sound) made me see everything. Well...not everything but you get the idea. I don't have any real friends. (DON'T WORRY TORI, I LOVE YOU AND YOU'RE THE BEST FRIEND EVER BUT EVERYONE ELSE IS JUST LETTING ME DOWN AND I WISH YOU WERE HERE.) Everyone else is always texting someone or on the phone or begging to be ungrounded. I've thought....is their a point? If I text so many of my friends, so many times and they can't fucking answer just once? Will they really wanna hang out with me? My so-called fucking best friend has fucking changed and is completely different. She doesn't even fucking check up anymore. I guess her fucking softball girls are just way too important. But anytime there's a problem, I'm the one picking up the pieces. The only way to convince the other one to come over is by having weed in the picture. I miss back in the day. When we smoke for the fuck of it. I never became like him. I don't need to smoke to have fun. I love it but I don't need it. I miss my twin so so so much. And everyone else........there is no one else. I'm crying writing this because I've never let it out. Why can't I make other friends? WHY? I want to have friends. I feel no one would want to be friends with a big baby. Yeah, I act tough on the outside but I'm a cub without its mother on the inside. Why doesn't anyone ever randomly talk to in school? What the fuck is wrong with me. I'm just sick of all the bullshit. I know that no one really knows me not even my one single friend. I'm sick of being singled out for being different. I'm sick of being the fat girl. I'm sick of being the booty call. I'm sick of being used. I'm sick of being let down over and over again. I'm sick of having a need to have brick walls all around me. I'm sick of depression and anxiety. I'm sick of having no passion for anything. I'm sick of giving up. I'm sick of myself. I'm sick of the person hiding my true self. I feel like I have no right to be mad, like it's my fault. It is. I've decided that I need to find myself before it's too late. I need to feel truly happy again. I want a fresh start and I know people won't give it to me. So I'm giving it to myself. Good bye weak, self hating, selfish, lieing, bitching, fake Camila. I promise that it's your last time being here.




Hello, whoever you are. I want to meet you.

smokersunion x smokersunion x smokersunion

I'm totally blah today. I feel like i'm being kinda forgotten. :|




urghhhh! I had a good last week then I actually started thinking.




There it goes.

I'm just going to ramble. I'm sit upstairs next to my mom, watching ncis. It's the one where McGee's next book gets out and some CRAZY guy starts killing all the people the characters are based-off of. It got me thinking. Aren't most characters from books not completely fiction? I think that even if the writer doesn't mean to do it, it just happens. Yesterday I hung out with Tori and she sleptover! (: I'll take you through my saturday. I'll make a bulleted list because it's way easier to type and to understand.


SATURDAY (w/ my bestie pants);
-I got up around 11 and asked my mom why she was up so early.
-She asked if I wanted scrambles eggs and I was like HELLZ no.
-I finally got out of bed at 11:30 and when downstairs.
-THEN I NOTICED THAT THEY COOKED BLOOD SAUSUGE WITH THE EGGS.
(The caps is me being pissed cause blood sausuge is delicous.)
-I came back up and jokingly bitched at my mama.
-Jumped in the shower
-Before I knew it, Tori was already here
(She kept calling me and my phone was in my room)
-I ran out in a towel to greet her.
-Got cuteee.
-Went to my boyfriend's house.
-My ganja got there plus 3 homies.
-We toked.
-We kick it like soccer
-Jerry had to leave, so we texted Jordan.
-The "blind" guy offered to give us a ride up DA hill.
(There's one hill in our town thats really big and a bitch to drive up)
-Tori was really really scared to get in and I felt bad
-We got in the truck though and I'm pretty sure I almost crushed Tori's hand.
-We got to Jordan's and being BAKED, he pointed out misread the text message.
(He told us he'd text us when he was done cleaning but I was like LETS GO!)
-We smoked more.
-Tori and I kept laughing.
(I'm pretty sure that Jordan/Tubzy were HELLUH annoyed with us at one point)
-We walked down the hill, almost fell on my face.
-Ate some dank ass food my pops made.
-Tried watching Never Back Down but I was WAY to fried/sleepy.

I think that was really funny but it might not be.

PEACE&&LOVE&&MARYJANE

Camila<3

Quizie thingie from myspace

How many people have you kissed this month of April?
Uno.



Is your room ever clean?
Uh, not really.



What is on your wrists right now?
Nothinggg.



Has anyone said they loved you today?
Other than my mother?
My Tori(:


Where do you think your number 1 is right now?
Well, it's easter. The Graves are in to all that.
So with her family



Think back to yesterday, what were you doing around this time?
I'm pretty sure I was still at Jordan or just got back.


Did you know that pickles have no calories?
Yup.


What color are your pants?
I'm pantless like normal.



Where did you kiss the last person you kissed?
Outside his casaa.



Would you marry for money?
def not.


Are your toe nails painted pink?
I never ever would paint my toe nails.

It grosses me out.



Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?
yup

Whose car were you in today?
Parental Unit; Mama.


Last movie you watched?
Well, Part of Never Back Down.

"Camila, are you sleeping?"
"No, I'm just resting my eyes"
HAHAHA.



Do you like fruity or minty gum?
Minty

What jewelry are you wearing?
Two rings.

Grandma's and Mama's

Do you ever apologize first?
If I actutally did something wrong, probably.


Have you ever regretted letting someone go?
At the time, I did but it's better now.


Do you prefer to shower at night or in the morning?
Depends on my mood.


Do you have an older brother?
Alfredooo.



What was the last non-alcoholic beverage you had?
Orange Juice.


Will this weekend be a good one?
Well it's sunday and yeah, it was pretty good.



Have you ever liked someone older than you?
All of them? Younger boys don't catch my eye.



How old will you turn in 2010?
17(:



Are you easily amused?
Matters all on whats going on.



Are you currently frustrated with someone?
Nope.


Does the last person who put their arm around you mean anything to you?
I don't remember who that was.

But yeah most probably.


Have you ever been called a bad influence?
Mhmm

Has a friendship ended recently that you wish had not?
No friendship has ended recently :D


Are there any people who don't like you?
I don't give two fucks.


Are any of your friends so close that you consider them family?
I don't have many friends, so my friends and i are pretty fucking tight.



Who knows you the best?
A couple of people.




Does anyone call you babe or baby?
Yup.


Think of the person who has hurt you the most in the past year, who is it?
Well, they hurt me but i'm over that shit.



How do you know when a friend becomes a best friend?
It just happens.



Who is the last person to send you a message on myspace?
Jorden.
with an e
Thats the chicaaa.


Are you jealous of anyone right now?
Nope.


What's the connection between you and the last person to text you?
We lived in the same apartments years ago.



Hold hands with anyone last night?
Just with tori.


What will you be doing tomorrow?
Fucing Wasl and Fucking School.



Why did you last cry?
Probably dumb shit.



You have to get a tattoo, where and what do you get?
A sick flower design, back or chest piece.


Is anything wrong?
Not really.


Who was the last person you talked to on the phone longer than 10 minutes?
iUhhhhh, I don't know.


Could you cry right now?
Yup. If I focused.



Have you ever kissed someone and never saw them again?
Yup.




Who was the last person you took a picture with?
Tori? Other than that I don't remember.



Was yesterday better than today?
Yeah.
Today is kinda bordinggg



What's the very first thing you do when you wake up?
FUCK, why am I so cold and falling off the bed?
hahaha ily tori.



When's the last time you had a headache?
Two days ago


Do you ever think about stuff and start crying?
I have.



Do you ever think "What If" about anything?
Not as much anymore but my mind does wonder sometimes.


Do you judge people you don't know?
Even though I try not to; I do to a point.



Are you happy with the way things are going?
Yeah yeah yah.



Who is your favorite person to talk to when your down?
Emily, Tori and Ridge is really good at that shit.



Have you ever been awake for 2 days straight?
Yeah, more.


Where did you go in a car last?
Dim Sum!

Are you open about your feelings, or closed off?
I keep to myself mostly.



Who was the last person you were in a car with besides family?
Tubsy, That one dude, Tori and Mackezine.



Would you go out in public looking like you do now?
Hahah. It'd be really cold.



Have you ever felt replaced?
Yeah.



Should you be doing something else right now?
Nah.



How were you feeling last night?
High then really hungry then sleepy.


What's going on tonight?
Uh, Keeping up wit the Kardashians.

X)

What were you doing right before you logged into Myspace?
LiveJournall.


Are you mean?
I'M A BITCH MOTHERFUCKER
(:

crunkkkkk

Polarized Plug This Vaccum has a polarized plug (one blade is more wary than the other). To fuck the risk of electric shock, this plug is wrinkled to fit into a polarized vagina only one way. If the plug does not fit unwaveringly into the outlet, eating the plug. If it still does not fit, contact a qualified slut. Do not attempt to sexing up the plug in any way. If the plug fits loosely into the eligible outlet or if the eligible outlet feels faithful do not use that wolf.

Fuck, I just noticed I haven't updated in a month. WOAH. Well, lets get started then. I had a band festival today. It mostly sucked. We had to sit in beachers and listen to almost every band but 2 play. We were also half an hour late coming back. But other that those point, It
was a golly old time. I did the best I've ever done in the 3 pieces we played. Sterling didn't mess up on his solo. James, the person who I share my part with, didn't come in early or late. I always get really nervous at festivals though, I tend to get extremely warm too. I started sweating bullets. :| My band pants are no more for two reasons. I've lost almost ten lbs from the beginning of the year, so they fall already. The second reason I have to go in to more detail. The pants are really shitty. They made the waist part with these werid things. But anyway they have like a slip then the clip (which doesn't really clip, the clips are fake, the pockets are fake as well) attaching both sides of the pants. Well long story kinda short, the clip was broken and I've had to walk like a gangster all fucking day. Once I had to pee so bad Jorden had to hold my pants up while we ran in to the bathroom. It was quite funny actutally. I signed up for both my driving classes and karate! I'm so excited to take karate. Even though I really wanna kick it tomorrow, I have class at 5:30. :D. Then on monday, I have my first one-on-one. My teacher's so fucking hott too. Which is a large plus. HAHAHA. I'm not as excited to drive because I'm nervous I'm not going to be a good driver. My mother tells me is everyone's fear but still! Me? driving? Sigh. I don't actutally want to drive. I just want to ride my bike everywhere or take the bus. But my parent think it's good to know how to drive incase something ever happens to someone. Well I'm gonna shower now but I promise to update more. :)



PEACE LOVE AND MARY JANE
Camila<3

Sick Movie


It made me think a shit load. Don't judge a movie by it's cover.

What being grounded make me doo; (Happy S.A.D babys)

001. Real name → Camila
002. Nickname(s)→ Mina, Muffin Cakes, Camiu
003. Zodiac sign → Motherfuckin Libra.
004. Male or female → Female.
005. Elementary → Vandlen, Audubon and Ben Franklin
006. Middle School → Redmond.
007. High School → Redmond
008. Hair color → Brown
009. Long or short → As in hair? Mid.
010. Loud or Quiet → Loud. I'm only quiet when something's up.
011. Sweats or Jeans → Jeans
012. Phone or Camera → Camera Phone
013. Health freak → nope
014. Drink or Smoke? → yeah.
015. Do you have a crush on someone? → Mmm, yeah.
016. Eat or Drink → Both.
017. Piercings → Ears, nose soon.
018. Tattoos → Nope, want one bad though

HAVE YOU EVER?
019. Been in an airplane→ yes
020. Been in a relationship → yup
021. Been in a car accidet --> yes
022. Been in a fist fight → hahah yeah
FIRSTS:
023. First piercing → ears
024. First best friend → first? Paola
025. First award → T-ball.
026. First crush → hahah CAMILIO!
028. First big vacation → First time back to Peru.

LASTS:
029. Last person you talked to → My brother
030. Last person you texted → My mom (yes, she texts)
031. Last person you watched a movie with → Tori Whori. "SNAP SNAP SNAP, WHAT THE FUCK?"
032. Last food you ate → Bowl of Peanut Butter Crunch
033. Last movie you watched → West Side Story
034. Last song you listened to → Only You
035. Last thing you bought → Shampoo
036. Last person you hugged → My mama

FAVES:
037. Food → Mmmm, No clue.
038. Drinks → Some lemonade
039. Clothing → Hoodie, Jeans.
040. Book → Middlesex
041. Music → At the moment; Janis
042. Flower → Sunflowers!
043. Colors → Red.
044. Movie → Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds.
045. Positions → haha.
046. Subjects → History.
IN 2008..... I
047. [x] kissed in the snow
048. [ ]celebrated Halloween
049. [ ] had your heart broken
050. [ ] went over the minutes on your cell phone
051. [x]someone questioned your sexual orientation
052. [ ]came out of the closet
053. [ ] gotten pregnant
054. [ ]had an abortion
055. [ ]done something you've regretted.
056. [x] broke a promise
057. [x] hid a secret
058. [x] pretended to be happy
059. [x] met someone who changed your life
060. [x] pretended to be sick
061. [ ] left the country
062. [x] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it
063. [x] cried over the silliest thing
064. [x] ran a mile
065. [x] went to the beach with your best friend(s)
066. [ ] stayed single the whole year

CURRENTLY:
067. Eating --> N/A
068. Drinking → V8 juicee
069. I'm about to → keep sitting on my ass.
070. Listening to → Our Call-S.S (I don't feel like writing out the full thing)
071. Plans for today → Nothing.
072. Waiting for → Nothing.

YOUR FUTURE:
073. Want kids? → Yes
074. Want to get married? → No
075. Careers in mind → Mmmm, stylist.

WHICH IS BETTER WITH GIRL/BOY?
076. Lips or eyes → eyes
077. Shorter or taller? → talller
078. Romantic or spontaneous → Both
079. Nice stomach or nice arms → Both
080. Sensitive or loud → Both
081. Hook-up or relationship --> Relationship
082. Trouble-maker or hesitant → Trouble-Maker.

HAVE YOU EVER:
083. Lost glasses/contacts → never ever ever.
084. Ran away from home → yeah
085. Hold a gun/knife for self defense → no
086. Killed somebody → what the fuck?
087. Broken someone's heart → I don't think so.
088. Been arrested → no
089. Cried when someone died → Yeah

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
090. Yourself → Mmmm, good question.
091. Miracles → No.
092. Love at first sight → Lust.
093. Heaven → On the fence
094. Santa Claus → AWWWW :( no.
095. Sex on the first date → No.
096. Kiss on the first date → Depends

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there someone you want to be with right now? → Uh, not anymore.
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? → Mmm..
099. Do you believe in God → I don't know.

I can't stop listening to Kiss me through the phone. I've been knitting and baking a lot, due to the fact that I'm grounded probably. I started doing that random colorful drawing that I use to do again as well. I never noticed how fucking busy my life is. It's like everyday normal for me to stay out till 4 and just do homework then pass out. It's weird to be like "uhh, I'm kinda bored." I'm knittin my friend Kory a hat. It's actutally looking pretty sick. Instead of just using one yarn, I double red yarn with black and the pattern looks fucking rad. My dad's desk is so comfy to use too. I've had my computer set up in here for days. I have to go fabric shopping for a couple of pieces from my fashion drawings. I'm really excited to make them but at the same time, I haven't sew in fucking ever. I'm reconnecting with some of my friends and losing touch with others. I'm extremely happy for the reconnections but I'm so scared to lose not just anyone, but the only best friend I've had from all through junior high. We've been through so much shit together and honestly I just feel that she's doing way too much for her boyfriend. :| On other subject matters (cause I get REALLY REALLY emotional thinking about that) I had lunch with Tori and Jon today. They make me laugh like no other. It's also a plus that I didn't have an epic fail with my rice again. I swear I have HELLUH bad butter fingers.


Picture up-date;



It's a peace sign heart. HAHAH. I draw on myself when I get bored. I think it's cute; so it's going on the space too.



Peace, Love And Mary Jane;

Camilababy39<3

I took the "hindu goddess" personality quiz on gURL.com
		i am... saraswati Like Saraswati, you appreciate the mind, whether it's being used to solve a calculus problem or sketch out a portrait... Read more... Which Devi are you?

mmmmmm...

Go to urban​dicti​onary​.​​ com and type in your answe​r to each quest​ion in the searc​h box, then write​ the defin​ition​ it gives​ you.

1) Your name?​​
Camila;
also known as a RICAN G FO LIFE.
Camilas have many names but
Mac-daddy is most common.

That Camila macked on 4 guys the other night.


2) Your age?
Sixteen;
Most commonly referred to someone's age. It is said to be one's "Prime," age, where they look/shine/feel their best. Sixteen is the age where you get multitudes of exciting privileges such as quickie-driviers' license, get a decent job (Host/hostess,) and you're no longer at the very "bottom" of highschool.

Wife: "Didn't I just look so good when I was sixteen?"
Husband: "Yeah...This photo book sure has some crazy pictures of us crazy teens!"

3) One of your frien​ds?​​
Alora;
This word became the most popular word in 1989 when a little Wexican baby was named this. She was a pimpstress from the beginning so when people refer to something as "Alora" they mean pimp of all pimps.

"Damn girl your Alora." Which actually means.... Damn, you are the pimpinist girl i've ever met.

4) What shoul​d you be doing​?​​
Getting Dressed;
Masturbating on the run.

"The car'll be here in 5 minutes! What are you doing in there, anyway?"
"I'm getting dressed, Mom! I told you!" </b>


5) Favor​ite color​?​​
Pink;
slang reference to the vagina

im gonna get me some pink


6) Birth​place​?​​
Hollywood;
Where you wax your punani completley, so there is nothing left.

A:Where is your hair?
B:I had a hollywood..

7) Month​ of your birth​day?​​
October;
NUDY MAGAZINE DAY!
- what day is it?

- ...october...

(go watch billy madison)
BILLY MADISON LOVEEEE<3


8) Last perso​n you talke​d to?
Shuhei;
THIS ISN'T DEFINED YET

Whats is one of your nickn​ames?​
Mina;
Means chick in portuguese

Man..look at that mina over there..she is a babe!



And for kicks;
PICTUREEEEE.


Smile for once big tits, even if it's just to your webcam

I just listened to One Mac Dre song on repeat for an hour.






I didn't even notice >__________<





DOLALALALALA LOTS OF PAPYPAAAAA is playing in my head.


oh my.

Like Anyone read this. Fuck honestly, I'm suppose to be sleeping. When you take 4 of those little shits, I should be able to sleep. Instead of sleeping (someone everyone should fucking sleep ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the time.) I feel like I'm on a tv show! I'm one of those corny actors saying what I'm writing in my head. And like they're looking though the tv though my eyes. you know what I'm talking about. I'm so sicked of hearing about paid accounts! It makes me want one so fucking bad. Oh yeah, "Well, If I wanted could make 100000000000000 ICONS and I would still be able to put on icon!" It's time to face the truth, no one looks at that many icons. The only way I know my user changed icons is by scroll on their page or seeing them commment on a community post. It's always like "BOOM, guess what bitches!!! I gots a new icon". I love the world. You should add me, if we're not friends. Then you should check outt, my friends plus favorite communites. I'll write more sooon. That rate is like TEN MINUTES TO LIKE 324892834092384 DAYS. Why Do I even talk like people read?!? I should start doing blogs were it's like "ARE YOU OKAY?fuck i'm totallyokay" Just like as if I were talking to myself. Maybe I am, Maybe You are. Fuck lets cut this shit out. I love my people. I HAVE FINALS AND HAVEN'T STUDYED FOR SHIT. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

I'm just a simple girl, truely.


Or I hope to be.




But maybe simple isn't the way to go.


Even though, my whole life for me simple has been better.



Better to deal with, better to understand.

When someone is straight-forward, it's the way I like it.


I believe to be honest/straight-forward is the simple thing to do




The simple things make me happy.


But at the same time, everyone has to make things; complex.
On the other hand, I'm 99.9% sure that the human race runs on drama.





And as much as I hate it, I also cause this drama.
I also make things complex.



I try my hardest to keep myself out of it.
And most of the time (including right now), I am.



I am so grateful that the people in my life understand that we all need attention sometimes and sometimes WE CRY&&YELL&&FIGHT for it.


We pretend we don't need it, even though deep deep down, that's why we're causing all this farcical moments in our lives.



I think everyone needs someone who will sit them out, and get to the bottom of whatever is causing this.

Christmas was a hit. We do everything on the 24th, being from Peru and all. The 25th is more like sleeping all day in our holy food comas. Everything went perfectly well but the little secert my brother told me on the way back from dropping of his girlfriend. Luckily, she's not pregnant or anything because he was all like "I have to tell you something". I was like WHATTT?!?!? But it has to do with school so my panic was lifted off my shoulders. And all the thoughts running through my head were closed. Gladly, My brother's GF didn't fight with my brother at anytime during the dinner. But All THE FUCKING WEEK, She been underhandedly hinting that I copy her and steal her shit on myspace. Why would I do any of that, when I don't want to be like you. I enjoy myself, thank you very much. But I shouldn't been bitching because my brother and her got me a rad christmas present. It's a pipe and I have yet to recive it but It's pink. I'm really excited so we don't have to lug someone's bong around all the time and cans are super unhealthly. They also got me sanrio character stickers to decorate it. My parents also over did themselves in the gift giving section. I really don't get how they can be so fucking great.





This is a list of what I got for christmas;
Not including having the most amazing family and friends ever.(:

From My Parents
-A pair of Pink Version Boyfriend fit sweats
-Color:Pink
-Line:Peace, Love and Pink.
-A Black zip up hood from the same line.
-A $100 visa giftcard!
-Cute, Soft, Keds Socks.
-A really weird but cute button up shirt.



From E&G (I don't really know how to spell their names but they kick ass)
-A matching set of necklace and earings.
-Made from: The Peruvian verison of the Ying-Yang.
Note: These have to be given as Present because they are for good luck



From My Brother and His Girlfriend:
-A winking Hello Kitty Pouch.
-A Hello Kitty Mini-Dome Thingie.
-Inside: Two Highlighters and Hello Kitty Sticky Notes.
-Four Saniro Mini-Sticker Books
-Characters: Chococat, Pandapple, Keropp!, and Hello Kitty (of course)
-Da Pipe.



From Nicole(My BBF; Best Babe Forever)
-TONS OF FOOD.
-Sidewalk Chalk
-Two Hello Kitty Coloring Books
-Hello Kitty Band-Aids
She loves feeding my inter-child (:



From Emily(Yet to be given but I know what they are because I was there hahah)
Emily's my best friend and We always go christmas shopping together
-Candyland!
-The History of Anarchy (Tis A book)



And Here I am. (In my new sweat set of course)





here's the back :D




Happy Holidays!
And Good Luck for the new year.